we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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