haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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