I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
