My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I will pee on everything he values.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
