There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
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don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
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Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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