Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
