I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Randomize
