She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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