I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
