I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize