Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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