I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
