I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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