he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
