I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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