She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
