She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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