I wish I only lived at night.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
