we have officially lost it.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize