I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
