He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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