Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
