I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
