after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
