Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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