dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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