i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
