There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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