We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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