Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
