I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
