I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
