I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
