hotel room ftw
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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