I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize