Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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