Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
