he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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