I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize