ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Randomize
