Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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