There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
