The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
