Someone shit on the floor
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize