she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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