I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
she smelled like a LAN party
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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