is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.