im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
