I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You're a waste of cheezeits
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes