Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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