he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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