if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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