When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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