someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
