I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
