Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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