Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I still have a little drunk in my system
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
